In these tough economic times, I think it’s crucial that we collect from everyone who has ever borrowed money from us, no matter how small the amount.
It’s important to think back as far as your memory will allow and begin with the first incident you remember. Was it in second grade? Did you ever lend money to Joey for baseball cards? What about when you were six, at the pool, and someone forgot their admission change. Did you lend them fifty cents? What was their name?
Once you compile a list the size of Santa’s, you’re probably asking, “Okay, Aaron. So now what? I have no idea where these people are.” Well, here’s what you do next: There’s a 99.4 percent chance every single one of these people are on Facebook. First, ask them to add you as a friend. Then, after a few days of chit chatty wall time, you stick it to ’em and watch the money come rolling in. It’s that simple.
“Well, what about me? I owe people a lot of money.” If you’re asking yourself this question, try your best to block it out. If the guilt keeps returning, try doing a good deed for someone and see if that helps.
But perhaps you’re reading this and thinking, “Aaron, now that you mention it, I lent you money a while back.” First ask yourself: Are you Aaron’s parent? If the answer is no, then consider the fact that studies have shown a person’s memory is unreliable. You really can’t trust it. But If the answer is yes, then I’m strongly recommending you forget that you ever read this. If you can’t do that, consider how much you love your son and how many times he mowed the yard (except the times where you payed him to mow the yard).